Mid-season comeback

I must apologise. Two weeks without the internet has rendered this blog as relevant as Wales’ Grand Slam hopes. The world of sport has been spinning faster than Monty Panesar in my absence, so I’m going to do a quick rundown of the best and worst before resuming business as usual:

Good:

• English clubs all look set to progress to the next stage of the Champions League. Premiership: best league in Europe.
• Tiger Woods returning victorious to matchplay golf. Not Brit-related but great to see him back on the fairway.
• Formula 1 testing new cars – Ferrari’s in particular looks great. Will be interesting to see how the new technological developments affect racing – more blogging on this in the months to come, I’m sure.
• Manchester United winning the Carling Cup and slimming down the quintuple odds day by day. Just a matter of personal bias, this one.

Bad:

• The attacks on the Sri Lankan cricket team. Not British but momentous, an awful intrusion of terrorism into the world of sport, and a terrible loss of life.
• England failing to understand that there are rules to rugby. Our spectacular lack of discipline - 10 yellows in 4 games – has become a weakness everyone knows they can exploit.
• James DeGale being booed in his first professional bout. Ok, so he didn’t perform at his best, but he won every round. Give the guy a chance, it’s his first pro fight…
• Andy Murray pulling out of the Davis Cup with a virus.

That’s all for now, but rest assured, some genuine blogging is on its way.

Apres Ski with a difference

It’s not British, but it is crazy. Apparently you can open champagne with a ski – but as American Lindsey Vonn found to her cost it’s not always a great idea. If you are determined to get your money’s worth from your super cool snow gear, check these out:

Hiddink for Chelsea

Image via Wikipedia

You heard it here first folks – looks like my powers of prediction are improving. Guus Hiddink is being lined up to take charge at Chelsea, the BBC are reporting.  Roman’s been bending the ear of the Russian FA, by the sound of things.

Dutch Courage for Murray

It has…ahem…come to my attention (obviously I have my finger on the pulse of all sports) that Andy Murray is getting back on the metaphorical bike tomorrow when he takes on Ivan Ljubicic at the ABN Amro World Tennis Tournament in Rotterdam.

The draw is such that if he makes it through the first round there’s a great chance of reaching the final, probably via Gasquet in the quarters and Simon/Ancic in the semis. You may be one of the Murray-haters (“He’s such a grumpy scot….He needs to cheer up…Bring back Henman…) but I think it would be fantastic if he managed to bounce straight back with a tournament win, taking some ranking points off third-placed Djokovic who sounded off so strongly against Murray at the Aussie Open.

Who’d be a football manager?

I can’t believe Scolari has been sacked by Chelsea. Admittedly they aren’t doing as well as they might expect – far too many points dropped at home – but this is ridiculous.

Who will win the Six Nations?

My predictions (like all the best soothsayers, I waited until I’d seen the first round) are:  Wales to win but not to get the Grand Slam. Ireland to finish second,  France third, England fourth, Scotland fifth and Italy sixth.  Lets see how wrong that turns out to be – feel free to post your own predictions.

Extreme weather? Just strong Windies…

Where do you start? England’s cricketers looked as helpless as Devon drivers in the snow against the West Indian bowlers. I had intended to use the test to explain cricket to my Chinese housemate, who despite my attempts to demonstrate in the kitchen with a frying pan is still hazy on the aim of the game (I know, unbelievable. I will get round to posting the rules and history of kitchen cricket here one day). But I couldn’t quite face the conversation. “And when the bowling side has got all the batsmen out, they add up the runs and see who’s the winner.*” “So is 51 a good score?”

Fifa rules not ok

Ok, quick rant. Why, why why does the rule exist whereby if a premier league official has seen an event take place but has not drawn attention to it at the time – I’m thinking of Jose Bosingwa’s studs in Yossi Benayoun’s back (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/c/chelsea/7869305.stm) – then it is impossible for any retrospective disciplinary action to be taken?

If a referee’s decision can be overturned, why can’t indecision be similarly punished? I’m not saying there should be a panel with the power to indiscriminately dish out penalties and suspensions arbitrarily, but in obvious cases of foul play there should be a system to look at incidents individually.

The idea that if an offence went unnoticed completely, it can be retrospectively punished, but not if someone saw it but didn’t do anything about it is nonsensical.

Sepp Blatter, sort it out.

Chambers best in class

Dwain Chambers – he of failed drug test and attempted NFL/rugby league crossover fame – is getting back in his groove on the indoor track. At the Birmingham games he posted a personal best of 6.52 seconds for the 60 metres. Looks like he will be gunning for the chicken-nugget scoffing, comically quick Usain Bolt at the World Championships in August.

His secret? Chambers described his approach to races thus: “It’s like a dog that doesn’t get fed very often,” he said. “When I get my Pedigree Chum, I am shoving it down. I am a man that’s hungry. When I get the opportunity, I go.”

UK athletics were not available for comment on whether this training diet was orthodox behaviour for a sprinter. Hopefully running around all whacked on scooby snacks will bring home a gold.

Not just football…

…but, as today is January transfer window deadline day, why not start with ‘the national game’.  As it stands (several transfers have been carried out at centre-back pace due to this pesky snow), no-one knows whether the weather is playing its part in helping Arshavin acclimatise to life in north London or not. Speaking of north London, this season’s golden banana award for ‘capitalist of the season’ must go to the Rick Parry at Liverpool for sheepishly sending Robbie Keane back to Spurs  (he can pick up where he left off by forming an unsuccessful partnership with Jermaine Defoe) at a loss of £7m.  Chelsea have pinched Ricardo Quaresma from Inter Milan on loan, which on paper looks a decent idea for a team so lacking in width this season, but begs the question of why Jose Mourinho was glad to let his old boss have him – I’m sure I’m not the only one doubting that he can recreate his international form. Oh, and glory be, Everton have signed a striker (Jo, from Man City). More to follow…